Shorthand Blues

At the moment Teeline shorthand is the bane of my existence. As part of my NCTJ qualification I am required to be able to write at 100 words per minute in shorthand. When reporting on legal proceedings it is essential because no recording devices are permitted in court. Needless to say I am not even hitting 80wpm yet.

My dad reached 100wpm in Pitman shorthand, which I have been told is harder than Teeline, with English as a second language. So, in theory if my dad was a shorthand genius I can master it.

For me it’s one of those things you just have to keep working away at, like learning to play an instrument or training for a sporting event. The more you practice, the better you will get. Unfortunately, I am terrible at playing the piano and I don’t think Wimbledon is missing a tennis starlet.

Each day when I get back from university I spend an hour practicing outlines and speed building by listening to the ancient NCTJ recordings my teachers used to pass their exams.

The “dictation pieces” (as they are called) are four minutes long with a 30 second interval in the middle.

The subject matter of the passages is thrilling. From cat rescue centres to re-building church roofs, it’s the stuff wannabe journalists dream of. Forget about exposing major companies illegally dumping toxic waste or corrupt bankers stealing billions from investors, it’s all about saving the annual village fair.

They also attempt to spice things up with some gore. There is one piece about a car crash where a vehicle slips off the road and into the bushes. Weeks later the driver’s body is found along with the car. Apparently, from the colour of the corpse the police can tell it’s been there a long time. I guess that’s as exciting as it gets for now.

So there you have it, another snippet into the bizarre world of the NCTJ.

I am still at a loss with this video package but I have about six other assessments to worry about as well.

For those considering undertaking a course in Teeline shorthand here is a list of some of the dangerous side effects:

- blisters
- dented fingers
- deterioration of handwriting
- deterioration of spelling
- frustration/anger
- could cause crying
- long periods of isolation
- dreaming in outlines*

(I have suffered from most of these.)

* Outlines are the signs/symbols used in shorthand. In Teeline they correspond with letters in the alphabet. A lot of other shorthand systems are based on phonetics.